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Either it Balks or it Comes in Close

Either it Balks or it Comes in Close

Lindsey Boldt

Excerpt from Either it Balks or it Comes in Close



The world goes, Aaack

and I go with it








I was a sleeper

In a past life, I slept

I know it


In my past life, I was dead

so I am always wanting to be quiet

like that








My nature poem would

include an inner tube

all the boys tripped out on spawning

chum in a fish herd

Matthew lost, contemplating refraction

the distance between he and his own hand

my own feet edging along the bank

locating a spot to spring from

Elaine, back arched over a boulder

Steve in a daze, face to the sky


Swam the creek and salmon met me

forked around my swimming body

forked in rows of salmon school

swam the creek and baby met me

dove his body from the bank

and I have seen the light on water

yes, I have seen it do that thing


Though I slept and woke again

broke inside my own dream head

napping nearly drooled my eyes out

crying, I am here again

crying, I’m still here


Sadness from too much sleep

dreams on screen and off








rapes and their rapists

all kinds all sorts all over


No need to narrate

get on

get on

dissolve into Chico

this wild flower is not a present

for your blazer’s button-hole

it lives here


Hurt my body

swinging out an Oak tree

scraped its hide against my own

the sting and burn, I am alive


Let a pinecone be a pinecone, I say

as I commit further acts of human chauvinism

and ask the Redwood tree

how to be an ally








Yope, a sudden heavy ease in the back

and an invisible pal, thrusts back my face

psychic rhebus printed under my cap


Head rears back

and hands begin to fly

birds n’ horses

birds n’ horses

my body’s birds n’ horses

a crab hunched and snapping in my shoulder


but zip zip, goes that good green goop

sucked up through this shake straw of a spine

and I and my friend here, we spin it widdershins ‘n

back again








I did a gesture with the hand that

doesn’t work right

it told me all about itself

it is still telling me about itself

even now


My hand is my antennae

and it works

– OK –


My hand is my own body

my hand is my own mind

the energy makes it move

the energy makes me move it

all the time








My hand has a song

to sing

my hand has a song to sing

— OK —

— OK —


— my hand will teach us OH —

my hand will teach us OH —


my hand will teach us OH —

Lindsey will do it

Lindsey will energetically mime my voice




singing Oh————————————————>




not only a woman, but wicked: notes on the divine

not only a woman, but wicked: notes on the divine

Go in weak, come out strong

Go in weak, come out strong